CREATURE FEAR

IF I CLOSE MY EYES, I CAN REMEMBER DAYS PAST WITH SUCH CLARITY, I COULD BE PRESENT IN THE VERY MOMENT. IT STRIKES ME NOW AND AGAIN, THAT I AM NEARLY TWENTY, AND THAT MAKES ME A LITTLE FRIGHTENED, BECAUSE IF YOU WERE TO STOP AND CONSIDER FOR A SECOND, I HAVE LIVED FOR TWO DECADES, FOR TWENTY X 1 YEARS, FOR THE LIVES OF TWO TEN YEAR OLDS. I AM HALF WAY TO FORTY. AM I AN ADULT YET OR WUT? WHO GETS TO SAY, EVEN? I SIT AT THE CHILDRENS' TABLE COME FAMILY DINNERS, BUT SOMETIMES ADULTS TALK TO ME LIKE EQUALS, AND THAT SURPRISES ME, BECAUSE I STILL FEEL BABY SOMETIMES.
SOMETIMES SOMETIMES I WISH SOMEONE COULD BE LIKE::
HEY YOU: YOU ARE ADULT NOW
AND THEN I WOULD KNOW.
NOW,
I AM UNCERTAIN.