Excitement and inspiration

I feel excited and inspired, nervous and alive. The world is awash with possibility, it lurks omnipresent in every thing. University times are drawing to a close: a daunting and impossible thought. Time is a sprinter, leaping forth at the gunshot. I am an adult but I feel like a young child often, helpless and overwhelmed, and sometimes I yearn for the naivette childhood affords. These are fearful times.

The last week has been very inspirational, and has made me burst with enthusiasm for what I can achieve.

Last week I saw the beautiful and young and wonderous Tavi Gevinson speak. She is 17 and so talented and so wise. She had this real ability to speak truth, to speak with an enviable eloquence and poise. She spoke about fandom and love and passion and making journals filled with Taylor Swift lyrics and scrawl. She was frank and so great. She talked about feelings. And she made me feel too: she filled me with hope and dreams and passion. (And afterwards I went out for Don Dons and everything was great with the world).

And then I had a second Tavi encounter the following day, at Rookie Day. A day for under-20s (while I do kinda slot into that category, I was volunteering for the Writer's Festival), it featured inspirational women, crafts and wild bohemian dancing. The speakers were empowered and motivated and passionate women and they made me want to move mountains. We made moodboards and devoured old magazines like hungry children. And then we danced in the dark to (more) Taylor Swift and I almost wanted to cry at the very majesty of the whole beautiful occasion. My heart was hurting from the happiness and the beaming.

Today at university we had an industry forum with cool and amazing people from the film industry. Corrie Chen, Richard Lowenstein and Rhys Graham. (Rhys Graham has a beautiful blog). I left buzzing with sugar and life-zest and a desire to create some fiction-film. They made so much sense. 

I feel very filled with inspiration, and it does seem that the world is my oyster (even though I am not a seafood fan). There is so much possibility, and I think that this is what is so daunting. I do not know what to do, what to write, what to create. I know that the key is to create, and much of the education comes by creation, but I am afraid to take that initial step. I am going to try to push myself and remain motivated and create work that is representative of something of me. I have six more weeks of university left and then a stretch of time with undecided content. This is both thrilling and very terrifying. It is terrifying because the path I will follow is not yet decided, I do not know, nobody knows. There is much journey for me to yet endure, so much world and experience.